The holiday season- a time of family gatherings. What can be better than catching up with distant loved ones, eating until it hurts, and spending hours talking over each other until the dueling monologues climb to a crescendo of cackles? No, there's no bow big enough for such delights.
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At times, the family banter can feel more like an interrogation and there is one question every unmarried male and female family member can count on: is there somebody special in your life? A variation of follow up comments: I'm going to give So And So your number, you're perfect for each other; don't worry, you'll find someone someday; I don't get it, you're so wonderful- how could you still be single only (unintentionally) add (unintentional) insults to (unintentional) injury.
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It's fair to say both men and women encounter a variation of this inevitable exchange, but men are more likely to be patted on the back for playing the field while women are more likely to be cautioned about the dangers of their ticking biological clocks. But the truth is- people will couple when and if it's right for them... because being single is pretty fantastic.
When I was in my twenties, if anyone told me that I would find my match at thirty, thanks to Billy Madison and an internet dating profile, I would have gulped my Appletini and strutted back to the dance floor shaking my head. No way... this was too much fun. Plus, I watched far too many people couple because college was over and they thought that getting serious was the next step in some ill perceived series of steps to achieving authentic adulthood. No, I could "pay my own fun and pay my own bills."
Don't get me wrong, I cannot imagine (nor do I want to imagine) life without my incredibly patient, handsome, hilarious husband, but it took meeting him to change my mind about single life. That's probably why every other relationship before him failed... I wasn't going to give up absolute independence for the sake of satisfying some silly preconceived notion of happiness.
Blending lives is a big deal...sure a person can still remain independent to an extent, but a person's partner, too, has the right to a say. Having a partner means considering how simple vacation, dining, other recreational, professional decisions will affect that person. Few people that pre-emptively couple practice this behavior or resent having to practice this behavior; consequently, 42- 45% of marriages end in divorce (IFS).
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Even though I'm now married, I still cringe whenever I hear people dismiss or pity the glories of singledom. When I look back on it, I wish I corrected people when they dug into my couple status.
Here are a few pithy retorts you can borrow this holiday season when the dreaded couple question arises:
1. I'm still saving- the average cost of a divorce is $15,500; it would be irresponsible to start something that I wasn't prepared to finish.
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2. I'm currently holding auditions, one martini at a time.
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| Photo Credit: Giphy.com |
3. Well, I'm hoping that scientists work out the kinks in cloning soon; I can't wait to wake up next to David Beckham every morning. Alternative: ... I can't wait to wake up next to Emilia Clarke every morning. Or substitute whatever celebrity you deem dreamy.
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4. That's a really big question...have I met anyone special? Well, by today's standards- isn't everyone special? Theoretically, every time I step into the world, I meet lots of special people. Let me freshen up your drink for you.
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5. What? Sorry, I'm having trouble hearing you. I've been out celebrating all month... my ears are ringing from all of the fun clubs, bars, and conversations I've been enjoying. Nope... still not getting it. Oh well, cheers!
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