To Cheat, Or Not To Cheat That Is The Question

Chutes and Ladders. Candy Land. Games that rely on the luck of the draw-- players either end up in gliding through Gumdrop Mountains or sulking in the Molasses Swamp . Hungry, Hungry Hippo. The fastest, most aggressive hippo gets to gulp the most marbles and win. Perfection. Players have to race a ticking timer to solve a 3D puzzle before all the neatly placed pieces explode from their  places. 

Simon. The coolest game of all- players memorize and mimic light and sound patterns. It is a game best played in dim light; if a player sits at the right angle, the red, blue, yellow, and green lights could dance on the ceiling... take note, Lionel Richie. 

The game's electronic tones reminded me of the final sequence in Close Encounters of The First Kind, one of the first movies I remember seeing. My mom and uncle, the finest of Trekkies, loved the movie, but the praying mantis like alien gave me nightmares. If I could master the game, though, maybe I could master her language, too.

Little did I know, sitting in the dark, studying patterns, responding in kind the best I could, Simon (along with my other favorite games) was preparing me for adulthood. But was I learning the right message? Should we teach our children that following the rules yields success? 

Movies like Close Encounters showed me that even the most elite in their fields could be flummoxed and had to be adaptable -- the smartest people existed in a constant state of learning, not a state of certainty. Just when they think they've solved a problem, a new variable is introduced and it's back to the drawing board.

photo credit: museumofplay.org

The older I get, the more it becomes clear that adults are figuring out each challenge as they go. The rule sheet is long lost and players do their best to figure out, make up, and reinterpret the instructions with each move. Children and adults alike are just feeling around in the dark, following, for right or wrong, the examples other, presumably more experienced, adults provide. Experts emerge with theories to guide us, but they can't factor every variable, their truth is often subjective. 

We're all just trying to figure things out before they blow up in our faces, doing our best to avoid the task of picking up the pieces and starting again. Try as we may, our success often depends on the luck of the draw-- sometimes we climb, sometimes we tumble. Adults claim they have no time for games, but play may be the key to better living.

photo credit: memegenerator.net

There are nearly ten years separating me and my kid sister, so I got to play a bit longer than other people my age. Games of Operation and Perfection seemed endless, my sister masterfully making new rules to pave her way to victory...cheating sums it up.

But she didn't know she was cheating. She was clever enough to know there was more than one means to an end-- she simply wouldn't be forced into an ill suited means. She knew there was a problem and she needed to solve it. She also understood there would be a winner and a loser... who likes to lose?

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If the tiny tweezers touched the patient's metallic funny bone incision, my sister declared that it didn't count. The red nose flickered and the board vibrated with each buzz as she dug into the cavity and removed the pesky plastic pieces. I rarely got a turn-- she cured the patient her way, so my services were unnecessary. I was there simply to observe the historic moment in medicine.

Against my sister, time became irrelevant in Perfection. If the clicking clock came close to a conclusion, she not so subtly turned the dial back a few seconds to give herself more time. She'd solve the problem in her time and my whining and shoving never changed it. Rules be damned-- she redefined the pathway to Perfection.

It has taken me years to appreciate my sister's rejection of the rules. The only thing her solutions hurt were my ego... I, too, didn't like to lose. Granted, life is more nuanced, more complex, but who is to say that conforming to established expectations and boundaries is a means to success or progress? 

Is it more noble to draw an unlucky card and accept the consequence, or to keep drawing cards until you find something you can live with? Is it better to relinquish your turn when you can't complete a task the way others want you to...to pass the buck and let someone else solve the problem in the name of tradition?

photo credit: www.moorebenefits.com

Now my kid sister is a mom and we sit and play the same games with her children. My niece takes up the torch of defying the rules...my sister does her best now to teach her to follow them. Time is funny like that. 

Teaching new players the rules is more about keeping the peace... no one wants to upset the silent agreement. For now, and in instances like those of game play, I chose to call what some call cheating- innovating; I acknowledge, however, there are no absolutes in the contexts of choosing to conform or innovate. But what do I know anyway? I'm just another fumbling adult.

What do you think? Is it better to teach children to follow the rules or to give them an avenue of innovative problem solving? You can leave your insight in the comment section. I'd love to read your point of view.